sometimes i think i’m sassy and then i realize i’m just too sarcastic and borderline mean
Always two there are, a master and an apprentice.
”When your power eclipses mine I will become expendable. This is the Rule of Two: one Master and one apprentice. When you are ready to claim the mantle of Dark Lord as your own, you must do so by eliminating me.”
SANSA STARK, SITH LORD, IS AN AU I NEED YESTERDAY OH MY GOD.
idk why people don’t love anora more like come on she built a statue of her father overlooking the orlesian embassy
I missed that detail.
OMG that’s the most tactful “FUCK YOU” ever
"release date pushed back to november 18th"
what if swedes suddenly started to be as patriotical on tumblr as americans
[free health care intensifies]
I want a sci-fi encounter where the alien species has nothing akin to “sleep”, and it’s baffling.
And I don’t mean that as in it’s a Science Officer or Medical personnel either, but like a rookie navigator or intern weapons operative who’s making their first inter-planetary trip and going to work WITH HUMANS not just via telecommunications or stuff but like IN THE FLESH and is so stoked.
They get this feeling a few weeks into their mission or what-have you that they’re missing a big piece of the puzzle like, there are a LOT of humans on this ship, but xe didn’t realize it before because “all humans look alike” but hey no that’s definitely not the same maintenance officer who was handling the proton cores six hours ago what the fuck. Xe gets time off to rest and eat and be social (which is so hard with humans because they’re pheromone detectors are so weak and nnnngh) and then goes back to work in time to see them switching??? why do you have two people do the same job what???
Why do you keep opening your mouth like that at me is this a dominance stance are you insulting me I’m so confused oh my gosh
It’s not in the fucking manual holy shit Xe is so screwed coffee and laughter and hygiene are all included what the fuck
but it’s gotta be simple and easy and not hard but how do you ask your superiors you’re the rookie gosh this is not working out.
Finally little Rookie Alien makes a human “friend”, and knows then they go off duty for food and such so knowing that human is off work Xe waits until they’re off work too and goes to their compartment number and the computer lets them in
"I apologize for disturbing you, Ensign, but I… Ensign?"
Ensign is sitting at their computer, lights blipping, there’s a half-finished maintenance report flashing on the screen and a communication device is tossed on the floor and the Rookie says their name again softly and NO RESPONSE AND
ANKDJNDLNAIND SOUND THE ALARM RED ALERT LOCK DOWN PROTOCOL THERE’S A MURDERER THE ENSIGN IS DEAD I REPEAT THEY- HOLY DECARBONATION VECTORS YOU’RE ALIVE IT’S A MIRACLE why are you displaying aggression markers at me there are security officers no do not shout i is small podling i make mistake…
prequel trilogy in one photo
Of course your life didn’t turn out how you wanted. I can’t even get D&D campaigns to turn out the way I wanted, and I’m in charge of that universe, and it’s for the exact same reason: other bloody people.
But they do make it a lot more fun.
What if the fade being ripped open in da:i has nothing to do with templars and mages but everything to do with those weird side quests in da:o like activating the places of power and watch guard of the reaching and summoning sciences
I mean the warden did a bunch of weird shit in da:o without fully understanding what any of it does
I know! That always pissed me off
Message: “Go here and smear blood in a pentagon why? No reason”
Warden: “good enough for me!”
inquisitor: and how much did you do this for?
warden: one whole sovereign
inquisitor: *quietly fuming*
warden: there was also that one time i dug up the scrolls of banaster for some blood mages i never met
inquisitor: you did what
warden: that was for a whole five sovereigns
"I’m threw some ashes on a rock in the Kocari Wilds."
"Why. Why did you do that."
"Well I found a note on a dead guy that said it was good luck or something so I figured what harm could it do."
*laughs* “Turns out a lot of harm. Who knew, amirite?”
Our wardens were totally the ones who pushed the big red button that read “end of the universe: do not push”.
Then purple Hawke came along afterwards and pushed it again because “IT OBVIOUSLY DIDN’T WORK YOU’RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT”